I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I checked into jail on foursquare
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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