Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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