if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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