I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
