They should really pass out barf bags in church
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
where are you?
Hypothermia
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
