im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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