That's intense
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
