When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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