The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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