i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Blood and glitter go together right?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
