The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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