I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
