im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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