When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
