Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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