So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
