I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
