Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
