the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
