In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize