If i come over, it means nothing
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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