I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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