Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize