Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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