so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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