is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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