The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
