this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
