Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
