just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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