i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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