never play flip cup with pint glasses
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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