he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
