He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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