i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you inspire me to be a worse person
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
