need another drink. this is the easiest way
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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