were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
