Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I wish you could order shots online.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize