Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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