Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
