I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
