I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize