i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
