I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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