so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
