stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
