he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
