i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think people are normalizing furries
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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