Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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