I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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