he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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