He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
