wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
