How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
