No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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