you would pick up someone in the library
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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