i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
