I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
