your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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