watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he was CRYING into my vagina
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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