1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
