if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
