ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she looked like the before picture.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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