I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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