the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My nipple is on Facebook.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
