I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I seem to have left my pride at pride
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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