That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
