Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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